Guys with Beards are Secret Frugal Mofos
Shortly after my Nicaraguan vacation, I decided it would be a great idea to stop shaving all together and grow a beard. Maybe it was the vacation maybe it was the coffee while I laid in the hammock either way I decided to grow a beard. I thought of few reasons on why I should grow a beard and wanted to share why I think it just might be the secret frugal mofo way.
My original plan was to not shave until I pay off my student loan, which I mention in my financial independence update is an uber aggressive 9 month goal, look for the goal update in early September. While I am dedicated to paying off my student loans in 9 months I don’t think I’m a “wear a beard for 3 seasons beard guy”, especially since the longest I have gone is 1 month…..ever. I had some crazy thoughts to start a campaign about paying off your student loans and not shaving until you do so, Guys and Girls Unite! In my head it sounded great, but then what if you don’t plan on paying your student loan off for 3 or 4 years? Everyone would look like the guys from Duck Dynasty and ladies let’s keep with smooth instead of hairy, deal.
I started to think about how long I could go without shaving and as of right now I’m growing the beard until Christmas, probably in honor of Santa Claus. I might show up with the beard (current beard name: Jack Oak) and shave it the next day to give the family some relief of their thoughts that I was going to live in the wilderness for months to be one with nature. Then I started thinking how much money am I saving by not shaving, how much can anyone save by not shaving, this is brilliant I am not shaving to stick it to the man, whomever that man may be!
That’s right ladies and gentlemen let’s think of this for a little bit, we are always talking about how our grandparents saved every penny and paid cash for everything, how they cooked everything from scratch in the kitchen and even had their own gardens. Guess what everyone* is doing now, at least the people who read my blog are, right Even Steven Money followers? They are watching their dollars, paying off debt, making better decisions financially, and saving money. Paleo and eating more natural foods, think organic vegetables and lean meats and less GMO and processed foods is making waves in the food and grocery business. This means that people are actually cooking their own food and even grabbing some tomatoes from the backyard. So what do my grandparents have to do with growing a beard?
Beards are Back. They are a great way to show off your manly side, show you are rugged, tell people you chop wood and carry a big ax and if you have a beard they believe you. Doubters out there? Go ahead and Google Brad Pitt and George Clooney with a beard, these are considered some of the sexiest men alive, stupid gossip magazines at the checkout counter, and they are frequently seen sporting a beard. So beards are back and guess what? It doesn’t cost you any money to grow facial hair. You cannot go to aisle 3 and purchase facial hair; it is all natural, just like your grandma’s homemade apple pie. Want to attract the opposite sex, grow a beard, win a marathon, grow a beard, land on the cover of Time magazine, you guessed it grow a beard**.
How am I saving money? Well sir and madam, you will not need to purchase razor blades. Considering if you walk into your local grocery store you are paying $18 for a 4-pack refill which according to Highland Men’s care, a single razor should last 5-7 shaves, which on average would mean one 4-pack refill a month. That would come to $216 in one year if you decided to not shave. That’s over $200 savings for literally doing nothing. I’m not including the shave gel, actual razor cost, aftershave or aftershave lotion, this could add up I’m sure to closer to the $400 mark. It is like growing a beard is the natural thing to do.
Does this save anything else besides money? Sure does future beard aficionado, it saves time. Let’s say you shave every day and it takes you 5 minutes which for a 5 day work week is 25 minutes, don’t forget about the formerly required shave to meet up with the in-laws, no longer required you have a beard my friend, and we are up to 30 minutes per week. You have just freed up your morning to do manly things. Here are some things to do instead of shaving in the morning: cook eggs and bacon and other meat products, sleep an extra 5 minutes, finish singing “Toxic” by Britney Spears because you can take a longer shower, manly right I mean “Born to be Wild”’ by Steppenwolf, think of a cool blog post like how to growing a beard can save you money, these and many more are out there, all you need to do is grow a beard.
Let’s recap if I grow a beard I do not have to shave or visit my in-laws, but I am able to sing Born to be Wild in the shower, attract the opposite sex, and save money. This is exactly why guy’s with beards are secret frugal mofo’s.
*By everyone I mean all the cool kids, no statistical research was done I promise.
**Much like the above, no statistical evidence has been researched to support these claims